Saturday, March 19, 2011

Ups & Downs of trying to "Foster to Adopt"

My blog was started several years ago and I haven't done a lot on it. We started fostering and hoping to adopt an infant through fostering, so life got a bit busy back in May 2009. Lots of changes to our family as a newborn baby girl, "Princess A," came into our home. Because of privacy, we aren't allowed to share very much information, so we didn't get to "brag" about this beautiful Daughter of God that blessed our lives. A few months later, a 7 year old girl came into our care and we fast became parents of 2 girls - ages 0 to 7, it was an adventure to say the least.

After the crash course in parenting, many emotional roller coasters, saying goodbye basically three times to our baby girl and once to our 7 year old girl, we currently have no children in our home once again. We were blessed to be parents for a total of 10 months to our baby girl and 7 months to our 7 yr old girl. It's been almost 1 year now since we last had a child in our home, except for the few "sleepovers" we got to have with our "Princess T."

The one thing that we have learned so far from our foster/adopt experience is that when a child is in your heart, they never leave. It is very possible to love a child as your very own, even if you didn't give birth to them. "Princess A" will always be our baby girl in our hearts. We will also always be "Aunt" and "Uncle" to our "Princess T." We love them both and continue to pray for them and know that Heavenly Father is aware of them. Our home will always be open to them.

I will never forget the day we were reunited with our baby girl, "Princess A," in December 2009. It was a Christmas miracle for our family. I can't wait for the reunions that will take place in Heaven if it is anything like that day of pure joy to have her in our arms and home once again.

I also can imagine more clearly now how our Heavenly Father might feel about sending His children to other "parents" to be raised in this mortality. How difficult it can be to not be able to rush in and help your child through the difficulties they may face. To want to be with them and hold them in your arms, to keep them safe, to have them out there living without you, knowing where they are and not being able to be their "mom" and "dad." To have to pray and hope with all your heart that their "parents" will love them and take care of them as you would. I have a connection with her and don't understand why I feel of her presence when things are going on in her life. Interesting how I got called into Nursery and started the same Sunday that "Princess A" started Nursery as an 18 month old in another Ward, in another place. So many coincidences ... so many promptings. Our prayers are always with both our "Princess A" and "Princess T."

People tell me how strong I am, but I feel so weak and vulnerable. I fall to my knees praying for help to get through the day at times. A few have told me to "move on" and that if I didn't look at the past, I might be able to have another baby girl bless our lives. Well, easier said than done, in all aspects of these comments. We are looking to the future - We continue to take the Parenting and Foster classes that are offered - We are still an Open Foster/Adopt home - there just have not been any placements for us. Maybe kids are actually being taken care of the way they should be?

1 comment:

  1. Foster-adopt is such an emotional roller coaster! Good for you for blessing the lives of two princesses- (and don't feel guilty for grieving).